Nine Month Torture
by Kei-chan and Rin-chan
Summary: Yuki's been feeling a little under the weather. What's wrong with him, and will he survive Shuichi's hysterics?
1. Chapter 1

Rin-chan: We haven't forgotten about 'Role Reversal', we'll be adding another chapter soon.

Kei-chan: Meanwhile, here's something new for you. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Look, we don't own it, okay? This disclaimer is for the whole story, we will not be putting it on every chapter.

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**Chapter One - Upchuck Central**

Shuichi was very rudely awakened by the sound of his lover throwing up. He wrinkled his nose, before realising that _his_ Yuki was sick. His eyes widened until they threatened to fall out of his head, and he jumped up, running to the bathroom.

He rubbed Yuki's back as his lover noisily emptied his stomach. When the blonde stopped retching, Shuichi hurried to get a damp cloth. He knelt next to Yuki, who was sat on the floor, one hand against his stomach, and gently wiped his face.

There was a small silence where Shuichi simply stared at Yuki.

"OH MY GOD! YOU'RE DYING AREN'T YOU! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME! YUKIIIIIII!" Shuichi screamed, earning a slap around the head.

"BAKA! I'm not dying. It was probably something I ate."

Shuichi sniffled. "Promise?"

Yuki sighed. "I promise." he muttered. "Now, help me up."

Shuichi nearly fell over himself in his rush to help his lover up off of the floor. Yuki actually chuckled. Shuichi gaped at him for a second, before hoisting him to his feet. He dragged Yuki back into the bedroom, pushing him down onto the bed.

"Now," he said, tucking the covers up to Yuki's chin. "You stay here, and I'll get you some stuff to make you feel better!"

While Yuki lay in bed, unable to move because Shuichi had tucked him in so tightly, Shuichi ran into the kitchen. A moment later, Shuichi pranced back into the bedroom, a glass of orange juice in hand.

Yuki scowled. "Damn it, brat! Get me out of here, I can't move!"

Shuichi snickered, but freed him from his soft prison. Shuichi handed his sick lover the orange juice. "Drink this, Yuki…. You should feel better."

Yuki rolled his eyes, but drank it anyway. He looked at Shuichi out of the corner of his eye when the vocalist hopped onto the bed next to him, staring at him as if to say 'drink it or I'll make you'.

----

The next few mornings passed in much the same way. Yuki would throw up, Shuichi would scream that he was going to die, and Yuki would end up grumbling.

One such morning, about two weeks after the first incident, Yuki had reached the end of his rope.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT! I'M NOT GONNA DIE, BUT _YOU_ WILL IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He yelled, scowling full force. Shuichi's eyes widened. But Yuki beat him to his second reaction. The author's eyes filled with tears.

"Oh, Shu-chan… I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Don't hate me, please! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Yuki wailed, throwing his arms around Shuichi.

Shuichi wibbled. '_OH NO! Yuki's gone insane! I better get him to see the doctor!_'

It suddenly occurred to him that Yuki was clinging to him. His eyes turned to hearts. He snapped out of it quickly. '_FOCUS! Yuki would _not_ usually act like this… FOCUS, DAMN IT!_'

He tried to stand up, but Yuki just clutched him even more tightly. His eyes narrowed in thought, and he thought about how Hiro would act whenever he had a crying fit. He slowly wrapped his arms around Yuki, and began talking softly. "Yuki, how about we get you to the doctor's… hmm?"

Yuki froze. His sobbing came to an abrupt end. He let go of Shuichi, folding his arms, and scowling like a five year old. "No."

Shuichi blinked. "Uhm… why not?"

The blonde huffed. "I don't wanna. I hate doctors. They always want to poke me."

Shuichi fidgeted. "But… Yuki, I think you're sick… I don't want you to be sick!"

Yuki shook his head. "No. I'm fine. I'm _not_ going to no damn doctor."

Shuichi sighed, beginning to get irritated. "Fine. I'll go call Mika and invite her over, shall I? I'll tell her you're ill. And after that, I'll call Tohma and tell him you've been throwing up, and that you refuse to go to the doctor."

Yuki stood quickly. "Well, come on. I thought we were going to see the doctor?"

As Yuki walked out of the bedroom, Shuichi made the 'V' for victory sign behind his back.

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Rin-chan: Thanks for reading. Please review and let us know what you think.

Kei-chan: Next chapter will be up soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Rin-chan: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. This chapter is dedicated to you guys, hope you like.

Kei-chan: Enjoy, because we enjoyed writing it.

**

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****Chapter Two - Test Results, Temper Tantrums, and Emotional Wrecks**

The drive to the hospital was silent. Shuichi had a smug smile on his face, and Yuki was scowling because he was manipulated just by the mere _mention_ of his sister and brother-in-law.

They finally arrived at the hospital, and walked over to the harassed-looking woman behind the desk. She had Yuki fill out some forms, and told him to sit in the waiting room.

Thankfully, the doctor called them in soon, and they walked into the examination room. The doctor asked Yuki to 'hop onto the table', and received a glare. The blonde glanced over at Shuichi, who glared, mouthing 'Mika'. Yuki twitched, but sat on the table.

The doctor smiled politely. "I am Doctor Yuy. What can I do for you?"

Yuki huffed, crossed his arms, and stared at the wall unblinkingly. Shuichi rolled his eyes. "He's been throwing up every morning for the past two weeks! He's also been really moody… well, even more moody than usual, anyway."

The doctor scribbled something on his clipboard, nodding slightly.

"Right. We'll get a few tests done, and find out what's wrong."

After a while of poking and prodding, the doctor took a blood sample and, much to Yuki's horror, a urine sample.

He sent them down to the lab, asking the couple to hang around until the tests were complete. In the waiting room, Yuki was being harassed by a woman who wanted his phone number, before Shuichi got annoyed. After he had sent the woman running from the building, screaming as she went, he sat down with a huff.

"Why does everyone want to take you away from me?" He asked Yuki, pouting.

Yuki rolled his eyes. "How the hell should I know? Maybe they can sense your stupidity and want to make sure someone as irresistible as I am doesn't get infected with your idiocy."

Shuichi was about to open his mouth and wail, when a guy sat next to him. The guy was smiling, but looked like the smarmiest man on the planet.

The guy had no sense of subtlety. He was leering at Shuichi, using the corniest pick-up lines, and generally being the most obvious flirt ever.

Yuki twitched, scowling. Quite suddenly, he began to cry. Shuichi and the guy looked over when they heard him sob. Shuichi's eyes widened as he tried to figure out why his love was crying.

Suddenly, Yuki began to wail. "You're going to leave me for him, aren't you!" he said, pointing at the guy, who suddenly looked terrified. "I knew you never loved me! You hate me, don't you? DON'T YOU!"

Shuichi wibbled again. "YUKIIIII! Don't say that! I love you! I'd NEVER leave you!" he threw his arms around the blonde, both of them sobbing like little girls.

----

Meanwhile, in the lab, a nurse picked up the next urine sample to be tested. There was a small piece of paper attached to it. It simply said:

_Yuki._

_Has been vomiting every morning, and experiencing mood swings._

She nodded to herself. Pregnancy test.

----

Eventually, they were called back into Doctor Yuy's office. He was looking at his clipboard, bewildered.

He asked them to sit, and then sighed. "Yuki-san, I don't know how to say this…"

Shuichi's eyes widened. "Oh no! I knew it! I KNEW YOU'RE DIEING, YUKI!"

Yuki smacked the back of his head. "BAKA! For the last time, I'm NOT dieing!"

The doctor flinched when Yuki glared at him. "Ahem, well… congratulations Yuki-san… You're pregnant."

----

Silence.

More silence.

Suddenly…

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN 'I'M PREGNANT'! BULLSHIT! I'M A GUY, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! THERE'S NO WAY! BESIDES, IF ANYONE OF US IS PREGNANT IT'D BE YOU!" Yuki yelled, pointing an accusing finger at Shuichi.

Shuichi scowled, offended. "Why? Because I look like a girl? IS THAT IT!"

Yuki huffed. "Partly. BUT IT'D _STILL_ BE YOU **_UKE-BOY!_**"

Shuichi glared, fisting his hands. "This coming from the guy who let me top a month ago?"

He got up, snatched Yuki's cigarettes, and stormed out of the office, and then the hospital.

A few moments later, Yuki walked out of the hospital, looking small and pathetic, and spotted Shuichi sitting on the bonnet of his car, smoking and twitching.

Yuki walked over to him, eyes glittering with tears. "I'm sorry, Shu-chan! I didn't mean any of it! Please don't be mad! And don't cry either! I can't take it when you cry…"

Shuichi sighed, almost choking on cigarette smoke. He removed himself from Yuki's car, and was immediately crushed with a hug. He wrapped his arms around Yuki, and closed his eyes. If this was going to happen a lot, Shuichi would end up going crazy.

----

Back at Yuki's apartment, it was finally starting to sink in.

"Yuki! You're pregnant! With our child! YOU'RE GONNA BE A MOTHER!"

**THWACK**

Shuichi rubbed his head. "Itai… MEANIE!"

Yuki's left eye twitched. "Don't ever call me a 'mother'."

"But Yukiiii!" Shuichi wrapped his arms around Yuki from behind, putting his hands over the author's stomach. "You're carrying our child…" he whispered. "Our little baby."

Yuki said nothing, but covered Shuichi's hands with his own.

They didn't move for some time, and when they did it was only because the telephone rang. Yuki walked over, and picked it up. "What?"

"Eiri…"

A despairing look came onto Yuki's face. "Oh god… what do _you_ want, Seguchi?"

"Now Eiri, is that really any way to talk to your brother-in-law?"

"I've got no time for this shit! I'm practically turning into a fucking WOMAN here! Now is NOT the time… FUCK OFF!" He suddenly began crying noisily.

"Eiri… Eiri! What's wrong? Are you okay? Are you-"

Yuki slammed the phone down, still crying. Shuichi, hoping he was about to do something right, opened his arms… and landed on the floor as he was tackled by the hysterical blonde.

A few minutes later, Yuki was sat on the couch, trying desperately to act as if he hadn't just completely broken down. Needless to say, with tears _still_ rolling down his face, he was failing miserably. He was still managing to snap at Shuichi though. After a few acidic remarks, he rolled his eyes and announced that he needed the bathroom.

Yuki walked into his study and grabbed his laptop. He settled back down onto the couch, computer on his lap.

A few moments later, Shuichi came out of the bathroom. Upon seeing the computer on his lovers lap, his face darkened like a thundercloud. Yuki looked up, surprised. He'd never seen Shuichi so angry before.

Shuichi stomped over, ripping the laptop from Yuki's grasp. "What do you think you're doing! Are you _trying_ to kill our child?"

He spun around, throwing the laptop with all of his strength. It crashed through the sliding doors, and fell down.

Down.

Down.

And down.

Tohma jumped backwards with a shriek when something landed on the roof of his car as he was walking towards the apartment building. He looked around shiftily, making sure no one had heard his girly scream. He then took a closer look, noticing the object was a black laptop. He narrowed his eyes, and pulled out his cell phone. Once he had told someone to clean up the mess, he resumed his journey.

Yuki blinked. He blinked again. He jumped up from the couch. "Why did you do that!" he asked, disbelieving. When no answer or grovelling apology was forthcoming, he turned to see Shuichi sat in a corner, his knees drawn up to his chest.

"I can't take it. I can't take it. I can't take it." He rocked back and forth, clutching his hair, as he continued his mantra.

Yuki, once again, burst into tears.

This is the scene that Tohma found when he opened Yuki's door. He glanced at Shuichi, raised an eyebrow, and then spotted Yuki. When he noticed his brother-in-law was crying, he rushed over, putting his arms around him.

"Eiri! What's wrong! What happened?"

Yuki sniffled, trying to stop crying. "I… I think I broke him."

Tohma blinked. He glanced at Shuichi. "Um… Why don't you tell me what happened? And why you're so emotional."

Yuki twitched. "I… I'm having a baby!"

Tohma sighed. "Don't be silly, he'll be fine. Now tell me what's wrong?"

Yuki sniffled, stomping his foot. "No, really! I'm… I'm pregnant! I'm turning into a fucking woman! I knew it! It's all my father's fault! I knew I was really a girl! He got me a sex-change didn't he? DIDN'T HE!" Tohma was gaping at him, all composure lost. "I fucking knew that old bastard did something to me!"

Shuichi suddenly stood. He bolted out of the door, screaming. "I CAN'T TAKE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

This made Yuki even more upset, if that was possible. "SEE! I broke him! Now he doesn't love me, and he's gonna leave me, and he hates me! I didn't mean to try and kill our baby! I didn't, I swear! Shuichi! I don't want you to go! I neeeeeeeeed you!"

Tohma, still dumbstruck, managed to guide Yuki to the couch. He sat next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He stroked his hair gently as the author sobbed. Eventually, Yuki calmed a little. He looked up at Tohma, sniffled, and tried to smile. "Thanks, Onii-chan."

Tohma's eyes widened. He definitely knew Yuki was, somehow, pregnant. He would never in a million years call him 'Onii-chan' if he wasn't.

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Kei-chan: Thanks for reading and please review.

Rin-chan: Yep, please review to let us know what you think. Thanx.


	3. Chapter 3

Kei-chan: Thanks to everyone whoreviewed. This chapter is dedicated to you guys, hope you like.

Rin-chan: Yep, thanks for the reviews, here's chapter three.

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**Chapter Three - Apologies and Cheesecake**

After running out of Yuki's apartment like his ass was on fire, Shuichi sprinted to the park, and collapsed on a bench. After a while of hair pulling, he calmed down enough to think sensibly. He winced, thinking about how Yuki must have reacted when he ran out.

Now that he was calmer, he felt really bad. Trying to ignore the guilt for a second, he stood and began to make his way to the mall.

Once there, he looked for an electronics store, and bought the most expensive laptop he could find. Next, he found a bakery, and bought a huge strawberry cheesecake. As he was walking towards the entrance, an item in a shop window caught his eye. And without a second of hesitation, he walked into the stuffed toy store. He emerged minutes later with a bear. Not just any bear. It was pink. It had 'I love you' stitched into it's little white shirt. It had purple buttons for eyes.

Humming, he made his way back to Yuki's apartment, hoping he hadn't upset his lover too much.

----

Yuki sat pouting, though he'd never admit it, on the couch. He hoped Shuichi would be back from… wherever he went, soon.

He looked up as he heard the door open, hoping it wasn't Tohma coming back to bug him. When he saw a mop of pink hair, he launched himself into Shuichi's arms.

"Shuichi! I'm sorry! I was so worried when you left! I missed you! I thought I'd drove you insane!" Yuki was babbling, and he knew it, but he couldn't seem to stop.

Shuichi guided Yuki to the couch, helping him sit. Even if Yuki wasn't even showing yet, he was going to be damn careful from now on. He sat next to the blonde, smiling.

"It's okay. I know everything's pretty weird for you right now. And… I'm sorry, too." He said, handing a previously unnoticed bag to Yuki.

Yuki blinked, and looked inside. He pulled out the box containing one _very_ expensive laptop. He gaped at it for a second, before grinning. He reached into the bag once again, pulling out a smaller box. He opened it to see… strawberry cheesecake. He almost died. He was dreaming right? A whole cheesecake… just for him… from Shuichi.

He shook away his thoughts, noticing something else sticking out of the bag. He reached in, and pulled out Shuichi's Teddy-Bear Twin. His eyes widened, before he hugged it with a squeal. "Awww, I love it! My little Shu-bear!"

Shuichi blushed, but then smiled. He sat up straighter.

"Oh! I just remembered! I was thinking I should get my driver's licence. Y'know, for when you get bigger."

Dead silence.

Golden eyes narrowed into a deadly glare.

More silence.

"Are you saying… I'm **_fat_**?"

Shuichi's eyes widened. "NO! I'm not saying that at all!" He hugged his still glaring lover. "You're beautiful Yuki! It's just that… well, what about when you go into labour? You won't be able to drive to the hospital!"

Yuki looked at him blankly. "No."

Shuichi blinked. "What? Why not?"

The blonde crossed his arms. "There's no way _you_ are getting behind _any_ steering wheel… especially not in _my_ car! You'll end up crashing, and you'll probably take half of Tokyo with you!"

Shuichi scowled. "Oh come _on_! I'm not _that_ bad! But that's fine! If you want to endanger _OUR_ child because you don't want to be able to get to the hospital, then that's _YOU'RE_ fault!"

The pink ball of fluff stormed into the kitchen, grabbing one of Yuki's beers from the fridge. He knocked it back, before reaching for another one, muttering.

"Damn stubborn bastard… only trying to look out for our baby… see if I sleep with him ever again… cut it off is more like it…"

Yuki winced from the kitchen doorway, before bursting into tears. Shuichi spun around, and sighed. He walked over to Yuki, wrapping him in a hug. He rubbed his back, murmuring apologies.

Eventually, his crying fit ended, though he still sniffled. Shuichi, seeing how tired the blonde looked from his many breakdowns, led Yuki to the bedroom. He nudged him down onto the bed, pulling the covers up. He left the room for a second, returning with the teddy-bear. He sat on the bed, holding out the bear. Yuki grabbed it weakly, cuddling up to it with another sniffle. Shuichi stroked his blonde hair for a while, before noticing he'd already fallen asleep. He smiled, dropping a quick kiss on the blonde's forehead, and left the room, making sure he shut the door behind him.

He sighed, sitting on the couch. He thought for a while, mostly about how everything was going to change, and what would happen in the meantime. He paled as he realised that Yuki needed to eat healthily, and that he didn't know how to cook. He wibbled for a moment, before diving for the phone. He called someone powerful. Someone all-knowing. He called the only one who could help him right now.

----

A short while later, Shuichi was pacing, waiting for his saviour to arrive. He twitched nervously every few seconds.

"Shuichi?"

HIS SAVIOUR! Shuichi turned, tackling the person to the ground. "OH THANK GOD! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Tohma laughed. "Don't thank me yet… I don't even know why you called me here. You sounded frantic when you called, so I thought I'd better hurry. What's the matter?"

Shuichi sat up straight, paying no attention to the fact that he was straddling Tohma. "Teach me how to cook! I need to learn because Yuki needs to eat healthy stuff and I never learnt how to cook and I'll probably end up burning down the apartment and give him food poisoning and then Yuki'd kill me!"

Tohma was staring at him. "I wasn't aware even _you_ could babble that fast."

Shuichi flushed, scratching his head. "Yeah… well, I'm worried. If something goes wrong…"

Managing to sit up enough to place a comforting hand on Shuichi's shoulder, Tohma smiled reassuringly. "Nothing will go wrong… Now, let's go into the kitchen and get started."

----

Shuichi and Tohma stared. "Damn…"

Tohma frowned. "Hmm… I wasn't expecting this…"

Shuichi sighed. "Well… looks like we're going shopping."

They had entered the kitchen, ready to begin, when they realised there was no food in the apartment… _at all_. With all the commotion, and Yuki's little shock, nobody had bothered to buy any food.

So, they grabbed their jackets, and made their way down the stairs, and out of the apartment building.

As Tohma got into his car, Shuichi blinked. "Wow… nice new car!"

Tohma gave a strained smile. "Yes… something landed on my old one. A laptop to be precise. I have no idea where it came from, but if I ever find out… well, they'll be mysteriously pushed in to the path of an oncoming car. Let's leave it at that."

Shuichi paled. "That was Yuki." He lied. Tohma's eyes widened. "He threw a bitch fit and ended up chucking it out of the window."

Tohma's severe expression softened. "I'll let it go… the poor thing probably feels so confused right now."

Shuichi breathed a silent sigh of relief.

----

A while later, they walked out of the grocery store, both looking harassed.

Shuichi twitched. "I knew there was a reason I never go shopping…"

Tohma nodded in agreement. "Who would have thought that so many ignorant people could be in one place? Old women who blatantly stand in the middle of aisles, gossiping about nonsense, people who get in you're way and don't move no matter how polite or abrupt you are… and then… then there are the people who just shove you out of the way because they can't stand to move a few paces to the side, where they could easily pass you!"

Tohma was breathing heavily by the time he had finished ranting, and Shuichi stared at him in amazement. A few seconds later, he regained his composure, once again turning his smile on Shuichi.

"I'm sorry. I get a little… tense whenever I get irritated."

Shuichi gave him a sceptical glance, but kept walking towards the car.

----

Yuki slowly opened his eyes, feeling warm and content. He hugged his 'Shu-bear' close, smiling. He rolled over onto his back, and one hand drifted down to rest on his stomach. '_My little baby…_'

He smiled again, before deciding to find Shuichi, bear in hand.

A few moments later, he collapsed on the couch, wailing. "My Shuichi's left me! Nooo! I knew it! I knew he'd leave me! What did I do!"

He didn't hear the door open as he sobbed, clutching his Shu-bear to his chest.

"I WANT MY SHU-CHAN!"

"YUKIIII!"

He looked up, and threw himself at Shuichi. "Shu-chan! I thought you'd left me! I'm so horrible to you, and I thought you'd really gone this time!"

Shuichi hugged him tightly. "I'd never leave you! I love you too much! I just went to get some food. There wasn't anything in the kitchen, and I need to learn how to cook healthy stuff for you and the baby!"

Yuki looked at him, surprised. "You're going to do that for me?" he asked, eyes shining. Suddenly, his expression changed to a suspicious one. "Wait… how are you going to learn?"

Shuichi smiled. "Tohma's going to teach me!"

Yuki looked behind Shuichi, noticing his brother-in-law for the first time. He groaned. "Oh no… not you again!"

Shuichi scowled. "Yuki! Don't be horrible! Tohma's being kind enough to teach me how to cook without screwing up, just for you! Besides, you shouldn't say stuff like that to anyone, let alone your brother-in-law."

Tohma sighed sadly. "It doesn't matter, Shuichi… I'm used to it by now."

Yuki felt a stab of guilt, but tried to ignore it. Shuichi huffed. "You shouldn't be used to it! Yuki, you really should be nicer."

Yuki scowled. "I knew you'd take _his_ side." He shuffled back into the bedroom, still clutching his Shu-bear tightly.

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Rin-chan: Thanks for reading, hope you liked.

Kei-chan: Please review to let us know what you think. Chapter Four will be up soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Kei-chan: Thanks for your awsome reviews, we love you all.

Rin-chan: We sure do. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

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**Chapter Four - The Unfortunate Student, and a BIG Surprise**

Shuichi cringed as he looked at what used to be Yuki's kitchen.

Tohma stared. "Well… that's one way to redecorate… I guess."

Shuichi wibbled. "Yuki's gonna kill me!"

Tohma looked around shiftily. He pulled out his cell phone.

"Hello? It's Seguchi… I have a favour."

----

A while later, Shuichi stared in amazement as one of the best interior designers in Japan walked out of the apartment, waving. Tohma had waved, before turning to smile at Shuichi.

"No problem… I have a lot of connections."

Shuichi stared at him. "You weren't kidding."

---

Later, when they had ended the 'lessons' for the day, Shuichi called a driving instructor. He set up some lessons, making sure Yuki wasn't around.

He sighed. He was going to drive no matter what the cranky blonde said. There was no way he was going to be unprepared for the birth of his child.

----

_Three Months Later_

After months of intense cooking, and driving, lessons, Shuichi could not only cook well enough to take care of 'his darling Yuki', but he also had his driving licence.

It had taken a long time for him to get both things right. Yuki's kitchen had to be redecorated numerous times, before he succeeded in spotting what he was doing wrong. Once he had cleared that up, he became a passable cook.

After that, he concentrated fully on driving. He went through a lot of driving instructors, a few declaring that they would never get in a car with him again. It took a lot of lessons, and he took a while to master them. Once, when he did an emergency stop, he caused a pile-up. Around twenty cars crashed into each other, and no one was happy with Shuichi afterwards.

But finally, he was licensed to drive. A fact he kept a secret… for a couple of days before the temptation became too much. Now, he constantly reminded Yuki of this little fact. The author would scowl, muttering to himself, but Shuichi always caught the slight smile he tried to hide.

Yuki, on the other hand, was still having random mood swings, and it didn't seem like he'd calm down any time soon. He was also becoming very sensitive about his weight, looks, and age. He would also have random swearing fits, where he would yell every expletive that came to his mind at the time, for no apparent reason.

He had also began showing, much to Shuichi's happiness. He would spend ages gushing over the author, a hand resting on the blonde's stomach. Yuki, depending on his mood, would sit there, smiling fondly. Both were ecstatic, and had even begun to talk about naming the child.

After the small incident with Tohma, Yuki had started to be a little nicer to the other blonde. He was slowly softening up around him, a fact that made Tohma particularly happy. The shorter blonde had been sworn to secrecy, because Yuki had wanted to get used to being pregnant first. Only now, as he began to show, did he feel comfortable to let everyone else know.

Shuichi and Tohma had called everyone, telling them to come to the apartment. They weren't really worried about how everyone would react. The most important thing was their child.

Sakano, the freak he was, arrived early, and spent his time stood up and fidgeting uncontrollably. The next people to arrive, turned out to be K and Fujisaki. Tohma greeted his cousin with a grin, knowing he'd have the funniest reaction.

Next came Hiro, with Ryuichi not far behind. Hiro had waltzed in, casually greeting Shuichi. Ryuichi, on the other hand, had bounced in and tackled the other vocalist, shoving Kumagorou in his face.

The last to arrive, predictably, was Tatsuha. He walked in, spotted Ryuichi, and stared. Shuichi handed him a tissue as his nose began to drip blood.

Noriko couldn't make it because her husband was in hospital, having his balls chopped off. (We couldn't think of a reason so we just threw that in there) And Mika was in Kyoto visiting the old man, who still hadn't recovered from that time Shuichi had flashed him.

Once everyone had, finally, settled down, Shuichi cleared his throat as he stood next to Yuki. He grinned widely. "Guys, we've got some fantastic news for you!" Yuki lowered his eyes and… blushed. Everyone noticed, due to the fact that Shuichi had stopped to give the author a loving smile.

They all looked back to Shuichi as he bounced slightly. "Yuki's pregnant!"

There was silence for a moment… suddenly, a thump was heard. Sakano had fainted. Hiro laughed. "Good one, Shuichi. You actually had me going for a second."

Shuichi smiled, wrapping his arms around Yuki from behind. "No joke. We went to the doctor and everything! Yuki's carrying my child!"

Suddenly, Tatsuha began laughing his perverted little head off. "HAH! I KNEW IT! I knew you were really a girl!"

Yuki twitched, and tears welled in his eyes. Shuichi slowly, ominously, turned to Tatsuha. "Take that back you perverted little bastard!"

Tatsuha paled. "Hey… I didn't mean anything by it! I was only joking!"

Shuichi threw a sceptical glance at Tatsuha, but let it go. The monk gave a silent sigh of relief. Shuichi smiled once more. "I'll prove it!"

He was still stood behind Yuki, arms around his waist. Before Yuki could stop him, he'd undone the bottom buttons on Yuki's shirt, moving it out of the way. Everyone looked, and saw a little bump, which Shuichi had his hand on.

Ryuichi squealed. "Awwww! That's so cute!"

Tatsuha was still sceptical. "Oh come on! That's just fat!"

Yuki, who was smiling against his will, froze. Once again, tears filled his eyes. This time, they fell, trickling down his cheeks. He began to quietly sob. Everyone was so amazed to see Yuki cry, that no one noticed Shuichi's face darkening like a thundercloud. He stormed over to Tatsuha, and that was when everyone focused on him. He drew back his arm, and…

"**OUCH!**" He had punched Tatsuha as hard as he could, and the monk fell backwards, hitting the wall.

Everyone stared as he suddenly became worried, and ran over to Yuki, putting his arms around the sobbing blonde. He cooed at him, stroking his hair gently. Meanwhile, K stood.

"I think we should leave for now."

Everyone stood, walking to the door. Tatsuha remained where he was, staring at his brother. K stormed over to Tatsuha, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck. "Move it, perv-boy. You've screwed up enough for one day."

----

Once everyone had left, Yuki lifted his dishevelled blonde head. He sniffled. "Shu-chan? Can you get my Shu-bear?"

Shuichi smiled softly, and sat him on the couch. He walked into the bedroom, grabbing Shu-bear and a blanket. He returned to the sitting room to see Yuki sniffing and wiping his eyes, looking more vulnerable than he'd ever seen before. Shuichi smiled, falling in love with him a little more.

He walked over, handing Shu-bear to Yuki, who cuddled him close. He sat on the couch, and manoeuvred Yuki into a comfortable position, before he draped the blanket over them. Eventually, the constant up and downs took their toll, and they slowly drifted off to sleep, Yuki cuddling both of his Shu-bears.

--

Kei-chan: Hope you enjoyed it, next one up soon.

Rin-chan: Thanks for reading, and please review to let us know what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

Kei-chan: Thanks to everyone who likes the story. Since we didn't have any 'wibbling' in the previous chapter, we've used it twice. (Just for you, Eiri-Chick!)

Rin-chan: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you guys rock. Hope you enjoy reading this chapter.

--

Chapter Five - Cravings, Driving, and the First Look

Some time later, Shuichi was awakened by Yuki poking his arm. Repeatedly. And it didn't seem like he was going to stop any time soon. "Yuki? Whassa matter?" he mumbled, still half asleep.

Yuki looked at him, and spoke softly. "Shu-chan… I'm hungry… would you get me some instant beef ramen?"

Shuichi blinked blearily at him. "Ramen? But, it's the middle of the night…"

Yuki actually pouted. "Please, Shu-chan? I really want some!"

Shuichi sighed, scratching his head. "Fine. But I'm taking your car."

Yuki nodded, clutching Shu-bear. Shuichi got up, groaning as his back popped, and grabbed Yuki's car keys. He slipped on his shoes, and stumbled out of the apartment.

He made it down to the ground floor, and yawned his way to Yuki's car. He started it up, and made his way to the nearest 24-hour store. He tripped a couple of times, yawning and searching for the ramen section.

Eventually, he got back into the car, a bag of ramen on the passenger seat. He drove back to Yuki's apartment, almost hitting a dog and an old lady on the way.

He stumbled back up to Yuki's apartment, unlocking the door and stepping in. He dragged himself into the sitting room. Yuki looked up at him as he held out the bag. "There. Instant beef ramen."

Yuki looked vaguely guilty, and pointed to two empty strawberry pocky boxes that were on the couch next to him. "Um… I ate all of your pocky. There's none left and I still really want some!" he turned, a pleading look on his face. "Could you go get me some? Please?"

Shuichi twitched. 'He ate all of my pocky…' Without a word, he turned, grabbing Yuki's keys again.

He drove to the same store, buying an insane amount of strawberry pocky, and drove back, once again almost hitting random objects and pedestrians. He once again entered the apartment, he handed the bag of pocky to Yuki, sighing.

He froze as Yuki smiled sheepishly. His eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Shu-chan… I want golden syrup… And we don't have any! I searched the whole kitchen, twice, and I couldn't find any… Could you-"

He was cut off as Shuichi slammed the door behind him. The pink ball of fluff stomped to Yuki's car, drove to the store, and bought the syrup. As he was driving back to Yuki's apartment, his eyes kept closing against his will. He tried his best to stay awake, but didn't notice that he was no longer driving straight until he hit a lamp post.

----

Yuki, who was stood looking out of the window, spotted Shuichi coming down the street. He smiled, and then frowned as he noticed the car veering slightly to the side. As his car hit the lamp post, he dropped his precious Shu-bear.

He watched anxiously as Shuichi opened the car door, and promptly fell out on to the ground. He gasped in horror, quickly slipping on his shoes, and rushing down to the scene of the 'accident'. He crouched next to a cross-eyed Shuichi.

"Shu-chan! DON'T DIE! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! Wake up, Shu-chan!" The blonde shook him frantically. "Wake up! HEY! I SAID WAKE UP, DAMN IT! YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO ME! I'M PRACTICALLY YOUR WIFE, DAMN YOU! I'M CARRYING YOUR CHILD! PAY SOME FUCKING ATTENTION!"

Yuki looked down at Shuichi to see the ball of fluff covering his ears with a wince. Shuichi looked up at him, scowling slightly. "I'M LISTENING! No need to yell at me!"

Yuki wibbled. "I was only worried!"

Shuichi's scowl disappeared, but he suddenly jumped up. "What the hell do you think you're doing out here without a coat? You've got to be more careful! Our little one is fragile!"

He put his hand over the bump on Yuki's stomach, a smile slowly spreading across his face. The blonde smiled, too, but then remembered his car. He twitched. He looked over to his car, and then back to Shuichi. Only instead of smiling, he had a deadly glare on his face. Shuichi blinked, and looked at the car. There was the tiniest dent, but it was barely noticeable.

"YOU WRECKED MY CAR!"

"Wrecked?" Shuichi yelped, disbelieving. "It's a tiny dent! I can barely see it!"

"YOU CALL THAT A DENT! IT'S THE SIZE OF A SMALL COUNTRY!"

Shuichi got up, grabbed the bag containing the golden syrup, and walked away. He trudged back to the apartment, muttering under his breath. He stared in disbelief as he noticed most of the pocky boxes he bought were empty.

As he turned, he saw Yuki stood in the doorway. He sighed. "You've got your ramen, pocky, and golden syrup… what more do you want?"

The blonde shrugged. "I don't want it any more."

Shuichi clenched his fists, the urge to throw the damn syrup at the wall almost taking over. Instead, in a voice not quite hiding his anger, he spoke. "Just go to bed, Yuki… I can't take much more of this tonight."

Yuki trembled slightly, but went into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Shuichi sighed, throwing himself on the couch. A moment later, he heard sobbing coming from the bedroom. Shuichi winced, and then slammed his eyes shut. 'I will not feel guilty, I will not feel guilty, I will not feel guilty, I will not- oh fuck.'

He got up, crossed the room, and opened the bedroom door. Yuki was curled under the blankets, hugging his Shu-bear, and sobbing his heart out. Shuichi wibbled, sitting on the bed beside him, leaning over and hugging him. "I'm sorry." he whispered.

"I didn't mean to get mad… I'm just tired." Yuki nodded, still sniffling. Shuichi got up, and quickly undressed. He slipped under the covers, sliding his arms around Yuki's waist. He hugged him tightly, one hand going down to rest on the bump. His eyes widened, and so did Yuki's.

"Yuki… I just… it…"

Yuki stared at nothing. "It moved…"

Shuichi hugged him even more tightly. "That's so great! I can't believe it!"

----

The next morning, Shuichi was brought into the land of the living by the phone ringing. He got up, and walked into the sitting room, picking up the phone. "Moshi moshi."

"Shindou-san? This is Doctor Yuy. I'm just calling to make an appointment. I think it's time you see your child."

Shuichi blinked rapidly. "I thought it took nine months!"

Doctor Yuy laughed. "It does. I meant that we could do an ultrasound."

Shuichi's eyes widened. "Oh! I get it! Sure, when's good for you?"

"Well, I know it's short notice, but I have a cancellation for today at noon. Is that okay for you?"

Shuichi bounced up and down. "Yes! That's great! See you then!"

He hung up, before letting out a happy squeal. He strolled into the kitchen, and began making breakfast. He cooked a meal that was healthy, but also had a few of Yuki's favourite things. When he had finished, he carried a tray with two plates, and two glasses of orange juice, into the bedroom. He set the tray down on the bedside table, before sitting on the edge of the bed.

He reached out to stroke Yuki's hair, before gently tickling his ear with one finger. Yuki's face scrunched in the cutest way, before he opened his eyes, blinking sleepily. Shuichi smiled, stroking his hair again.

"Good morning… I brought you breakfast."

Yuki rubbed at his eyes, before releasing his hold on Shu-bear, and sitting up. He looked over at the tray, noticed Shuichi had included some of his most liked things, and reached over to hug the smiling ball of fluff. "Thanks, Shu-chan."

"No problem." Shuichi said, settling the tray on the bed between them. They ate mostly in silence, until Yuki was about half finished. The blonde suddenly looked up, suspicion obvious on his face.

"Alright, what did you do?"

Shuichi blinked. "What? What d'you mean?"

"I mean, why the whole 'breakfast in bed' bullshit? What did you do? You better not have made the damage to my car any worse…"

Shuichi rolled his eyes. "I haven't done anything… I just thought I better put you in a good mood. Y'know, since we're going to see the doctor today."

Yuki twitched. "What? No way. There's nothing wrong with me. Well, apart from being pregnant."

Shuichi scowled. "Being pregnant isn't wrong! How could you say that! This is our child we're talking about! HOW CAN YOU BE SO HEARTLESS!"

He got up, storming out of the bedroom. Yuki threw off the covers, standing and quickly following his fluff ball into the sitting room.

"I'm sorry!" Yuki said, grabbing Shuichi's waist. "I'm sorry, okay! I didn't mean it. I'll go to see the damn doctor! Just let me get ready and I'll go."

Shuichi stopped him as he was going to get dressed. "What do you mean, 'let me get ready and I'll go'? Don't you mean 'we'll get ready, and we can go'?"

Yuki blinked. "What? Why do-"

Shuichi cut him off. "I'm coming. Besides, do you really think I'm letting you drive when you're pregnant?" he snorted, walking into the bedroom.

----

A short while later, Yuki was unhappily sitting in the passenger seat of his precious car. His lover slid into the driver's seat.

"Don't be so grumpy! I'm a good driver… just not when I'm sleepy."

Yuki huffed, but said nothing.

As Shuichi began the drive to the hospital, Yuki was twitching. He kept making comments, too. Like:

"Watch that old woman."

"What? The one walking on the pavement? On the other side of the street?"

After a while of this, Shuichi was slightly annoyed…

"Yuki." He said quietly, sounding deadly serious.

The blonde turned to look at him. "Hn?"

"Do you really think I'd crash this damn car with you in it?"

Yuki thought for a second, remembering how protective he'd been since they had learned of Yuki's mysterious pregnancy.

"…No…"

"Then shut the fuck up."

----

Yuki shuffled into the examination room, looking around suspiciously. The only reason he went in, was because Shuichi had threatened to bite his ear if he didn't. Shuichi waltzed in behind him, smirking smugly.

Doctor Yuy snickered, before greeting the two. A quick examination, and Doctor Yuy clapped his hands.

"Right, everything seems to be fine. How about we take a look at your child?"

Shuichi nodded enthusiastically, and Yuki stared.

"W-what? Nobody told me about this!"

Shuichi winced. "Oops, sorry Yuki. I forgot to tell you, what with the whole 'me being pregnant is wrong.' bullshit thing."

Yuki looked vaguely guilty, but said nothing.

Meanwhile, Doctor Yuy had prepared everything for the ultrasound. He told Yuki to take off his shirt, and he did after another biting threat from Shuichi. The doctor spread a jelly-like substance on Yuki's stomach, and Yuki made a face. Shuichi laughed at him, and the blonde glared in return.

"Here we go." Said Doctor Yuy.

The two looked up, surprised. They had been too busy silently bickering to notice anything. They looked at the small screen.

Shuichi stared. "Is that… is that our little one?"

The doctor nodded. "Hai. That's your little one. See? Here's the head, here's an arm, and I do believe that's a foot." He said, pointing to different places as he explained.

Yuki stared at the screen, speechless. Shuichi was bouncing up and down, a huge grin on his face. But the blond was too in awe to do anything. 'That's our child.'

--

Kei-chan: Thanks for reading, and please review to let us know what you think.

Rin-chan: The next chapter will be up soon.


	6. Chapter 6

Kei-chan: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Hope you like this chapter.

Rin-chan: The Epilogue to 'Role Reversal' will be up soon.

**

* * *

Chapter Six - Strangling Perverts, Weight Worries, and Age Issues**

_Three Months Later_

Yuki was sat on the couch, staring down at his stomach. At first glance, one would think he was staring in horror at the shirt he wore. It was something Shuichi had bought, and it was pink. The fluff ball had bought lots of shirts, in horrible colours and patterns, for him, and he had no choice but to wear them. Not because he didn't want to hurt Shuichi's feelings, but because he was too big to wear anything else.

He was, in fact, looking at what was definitely visible under the shirt. He was in his seventh month, and his bump had turned into a beach ball. The blonde wibbled.

Of course, Shuichi thought he looked unbearably _adorable_… He personally thought he looked like a blimp. He scowled. He couldn't understand how he could look adorable when he was bigger than the NG building.

There was a knock on the door, and Yuki heaved himself off of the couch. He waddled over to the door, yes _waddled_. Another thing Shuichi found incredibly cute, and he thought incredibly annoying. He opened the door, and promptly slammed it. He waddled into the bedroom, ignoring the noise Tatsuha made as he banged on the door, yelling.

----

Meanwhile, Shuichi stepped out of the elevator, raising an eyebrow as he saw Tatsuha pounding on Yuki's door, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"What are you doing, hentai?"

Tatsuha turned, ignoring the insult, and smiled at Shuichi.

"Well, you see… my brother must think I'm some salesman, or he wouldn't have slammed the door… or something."

Shuichi rolled his eyes. "Or he knows it was you, and that was _why_ he slammed the door."

Tatsuha scowled, but Shuichi ignored him, unlocking the door. Before he could blink, Tatsuha had elbowed him out of the way, and strolled into the apartment. Shuichi went in and shut the door behind him, muttering swears.

"So… how's my brother?"

"Good. He's doing well."

"Ah… how fat is he now?"

With no warning, Shuichi launched himself at Tatsuha. They hit the floor with a thump, and Shuichi wrapped his hands around the pervert's neck, ready to strangle the life out of him. Yuki, wondering what the thump was, came out of the bedroom, and froze.

Shuichi looked up from his soon-to-be murder victim. He then realised how he must look… straddling the blonde's brother. Before he could say anything, Yuki burst into tears.

"Oh my god! I knew it! You don't love me anymore! It's because I'm fat isn't it! I'm too fat, and too old! You wanted a younger, thinner lover right? So you toss me aside for the younger model! Damn you, Shindou!"

Shuichi scowled. "How dare you? You bastard! I was about to strangle the son of a bitch for calling you fat! I don't think you're fat, and I don't think you're old! Besides, even if you were I wouldn't care. You've always been beautiful to me. Always! But if that's the way you think, if you think I would cheat on you, then fine!"

Shuichi stumbled to his feet, tears making their way down his face. He walked towards the glass doors that lead to the balcony. "I'll leave you for good… you'll never have to see me again, and you'll finally get what you always wanted! I'll jump!"

He opened the sliding doors, and walked out onto the balcony. Yuki, terrified even if he never showed it, waddled as fast as he could. He would never have got there in time, but Tatsuha managed to grab the ball of fluff just before he jumped. The perverted teen, who usually had hardly any sense, threw Shuichi onto the couch, and stomped out of the apartment muttering about asylums and straightjackets.

Shuichi, lying on his back on the couch, blinked rapidly. A second later, his eyes popped out of his head when Yuki, literally, sat on him.

"How dare you try to leave me! What would I tell our child? That his daddy stopped loving us and killed himself? Because that's what you would've done! If you would have killed yourself, you would have stopped loving us!" The blonde said tearfully, one hand on his stomach.

Shuichi, once again, began crying. He sniffled. And finally… "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Yuki, who was still sat on Shuichi, began wailing, too.

And that was when Tohma walked into the room. He blinked. He blinked again. He snickered. The sight of a heavily pregnant Yuki sat on Shuichi, both of them wailing and crying, was more funny than worrying.

Suddenly, as if they both had built in gaydar, they looked up. As soon as they spotted him, they threw themselves at him, sobbing. Tohma, a thoroughly alarmed expression on his face, patted the two emotional lovers' hair. He tried to inch away, but every time he did, the two would tighten their hold and increase the volume of their wailing.

Eventually, Tohma stopped trying to escape, and tried to calm the two down. He succeeded after a while, and took off his hat, coat, and gloves. He grimly strode into the kitchen, donning his hideous pink apron as he went.

Some time later, he walked back into the sitting room. Shuichi and Yuki were sat on opposite ends of the couch, ignoring each other. Tohma rolled his eyes, before sighing. He ushered the two into the kitchen, sitting them down at the table.

The two ate, still ignoring each other. After a while, Yuki looked up at Tohma, a sweet smile on his face. "Onii-chan," he began in a casual tone. "I want Shuichi to stop working until our child begins school… I don't want to take care of our child on my own. I want us to both be there, and for that to happen, Shuichi needs to stop working."

Shuichi was staring at the wall, horrified. He hoped with every cell in his body that Tohma wouldn't do what he _knew_ the bastard was going to do.

Tohma smiled, ecstatic. "Of course, Eiri-kun. Shuichi can take care of your child, and when he or she begins school, he can come back."

Yuki smiled. "Thank you, Onii-chan." He sent a smug look to Shuichi.

Shuichi suddenly stood, knocking his chair to the floor, and stormed into the bedroom. He slammed the door behind him, and stood breathing heavily. He clenched his fists. '_That son of a bitch!_'

He twitched. "That's it!" he yelled, hurling a pillow at the door. "I WANT A DIVORCE!" He picked up another pillow, and threw it at the door with all his strength. Before it could hit the door, the door opened. Instead, he hit Tohma square in the face. The pillow slowly removed itself from Tohma's face, revealing a rather pissed off expression. His hair was a ruffled mess, and stuck up at ever angle.

Tohma sent an evil smile to Shuichi, who glared back. Shuichi folded his arms across his chest. "Don't try to intimidate me, you ass kisser."

Tohma blinked, and scowled. He opened his mouth to deliver some cutting remark, but Shuichi had stomped over to the closet and threw it open.

The fluff ball pulled out a suitcase, tossing it on the bed. He opened it, and began walking from the closet to the bed, throwing clothes in it each time. "Alright you bastard! You can have it all! Have Yuki, the baby, my life! Take it all! I don't care any more! I don't see why I should give up _my_ career, when Yuki won't give up writing. When our child's born, he'll keep writing, but I'll stop singing! How is that fair!"

He slammed the suitcase shut, he turned to make sure he had packed everything, Yuki waddled into the bedroom. He was scowling, and he walked straight over to the bed, sitting on Shuichi's suitcase. He crossed his arms and scowled. "If you think for one moment I'm letting you leave me, you've got another thing coming!"

Shuichi glared at him, before storming into the sitting room. As he walked to the door, he noticed two sets of car keys. He picked up a set, and stormed out of the apartment. Soon, he stood in front of Yuki's car. He pressed the alarm button on the keyring, and heard a beep. Instead of Yuki's lights flashing, the lights on Tohma's car flashed twice.

Shuichi stared. '_Shit… oh well._' Shrugging, he got into Tohma's car, and started it up. As he drove away from the apartment building, he saw Yuki and Tohma on the balcony, and opened the window. He put one arm out of the window, and raised his middle finger.

* * *

Rin-chan: Thanks for reading.

Kei-chan: Please review to let us know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

Kei-chan: Thanks for all the reviews. Don't worry, we haven't forgotten about 'Role Reversal', we'll have the next chapter up soon.

Rin-chan: Hope you all like our latest chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Seven - Drunken Escapades, and Dude, Where's My Car?**

_Two Days Later_

Yuki was curled up on the couch, cuddling his Shu-bear, and looking like shit. He had huge bags under his eyes, and tear tracks on his cheeks. He sniffled. He hadn't seen Shuichi for two days, and it was beginning to damage his health. He hadn't slept, he'd hardly eaten, and his mood swings had gotten a hundred times worse. There was a hole in the wall that was the evidence of one such mood swing. It was there because he had tried, and succeeded, in ramming Tohma's head through the wall.

Just then, Tohma walked in. He cast a wary glance at Yuki, before sitting next to him. The shorter blonde was starting to look a little haggard. He had lines around his eyes, and he was looking paler than usual. He had been subjected to Yuki's mood swings, and after just two days he was ready to kill someone.

Finally, he'd had enough of the moping. He stood, putting his shoes on. "Come on, Eiri. We're going out."

Yuki sniffed. "No. I want my Shu-chan."

Tohma scowled. "Well he's not coming back! Just get up off your ass and do it!"

Yuki stared up (for once) at the other blonde, wide eyed. "There's no need to shout." he said, pouting. He tried hauling himself up, but couldn't do it. He pouted again, and Tohma helped him up. It was a slow process, but eventually he was up. He waddled over to get his coat.

----

A short while later, Tohma helped Yuki plonk himself down onto a bench in Shinjuku park. The author shifted, wincing as his unborn child decided to give a particularly violent kick.

Tohma was absently looking around the empty park, when he saw a pink ball of fluff over by the fountain. He pointed this out to his brother-in-law, and, once Yuki had been hauled to his feet again, they went to investigate.

When they arrived at the fountain, they saw Shuichi sprawled on the edge of the fountain, in nothing but his pink boxers. He had a traffic cone prominently displayed, because it was on his head, and he had a pair of fluffy handcuffs dangling from his left wrist. They also noticed that he only had on one sock.

Yuki reached out, shaking Shuichi. After a few shakes, his eyes opened slowly, before he closed them with a hiss. He reached up to rub his eyes, and slowly levered himself up into a sitting position. He frowned. "Why the hell is my head heavy?"

Tohma blinked. "Maybe because there's a traffic cone there?"

Shuichi blinked back at him, and looked up. "Where? I see no cone."

Yuki, as relieved as he was, rolled his eyes. He reached up, plucking the traffic cone from his lover's head, before hitting him over the head with it. "It's too bad you're sitting down, or I would've shoved this up your ass!"

Shuichi stared at him. "Wha-"

"Where the hell have you been these past two days? I've been going out of my mind, and now I find you almost naked in the park! With handcuffs! You cheated on me didn't you!"

Shuichi scowled. "Will you _stop_ thinking I'm cheating on you every five seconds? Next you'll say I'm cheating on you with Tohma."

Yuki's eyes widened. "Oh my god… you are aren't you? That's why he agreed to teach you how to cook… YOU PRICK!" he yelled, turning and whacking Tohma with the traffic cone. The other blonde held his arms up, trying to stop the irate author from smacking him with a _traffic cone_ of all things.

Shuichi huffed. "I wouldn't cheat on you with _anyone_. Not even Ryuichi, if he asked. Stop beating up Tohma!"

Surprisingly, Yuki did stop beating up Tohma. Instead, he began wailing loudly. "SHU-CHAAAAAAAN!" Shuichi sweatdropped, before sighing. Suddenly, he turned to Tohma. "By the way…" he bent, sliding his hand into his sock. He fished out Tohma's car keys. "Here's your keys."

Tohma took them, and stared. His eyes narrowed suddenly. He pinned Shuichi with a _look_. "Where _is_ my car?"

Shuichi looked up at them. "How the hell should I know?" He suddenly looked down at his handcuffed wrist. "Where the fuck is Tatsuha?" he yelled, obviously still drunk.

Yuki blinked. "Tatsuha? What does he have to do with any of this?"

Shuichi was still staring at the handcuffs. "Well, when I drove away from your apartment-"

/ **Flashback** /

As Shuichi was driving, he was muttering to himself. He began a lengthy tirade about girly blonde evil overlords, and moody boyfriends. As he was in the middle of insulting the most feared man in Tokyo, he suddenly looked up… and slammed on the brakes.

He stared at the figure he'd only just missed, and scowled. He got out of the car, slamming the door as he went. "TATSUHA! You idiot! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Yuki's brother scowled right back at him. "I don't know, maybe I'm crossing the road?"

Shuichi rolled his eyes. "Sarcastic bastard. You're just like him…" he turned back to the car, opening the door. "Next time, I'll run you over." he slid in the driver's seat, and closed the door. He looked over, noticing that Tatsuha had slid into the passenger seat without even asking.

"What are you doing?"

The pervert looked over, grinning. "Well, you look… upset, and the best way to cure that is to get completely smashed. Trust me, I know. So, I'm going to tell you the best spots, and in return you're going to buy my drinks."

Shuichi stared. "Not a good idea. Besides, I can't drink if I'm driving."

--

A while later, Shuichi and Tatsuha stumbled out of the fifth bar of the night, shirtless. Shuichi was trying to keep the both of them upright, and so far succeeding.

They looked around.

Shuichi blinked. "Dude, where's the car?"

Tatsuha scratched his head. "Where's the car, dude?

_Twenty Minutes Later_

"Dude, where's the damn car?" Shuichi said, really pissed off.

Tatsuha looked around slowly. He suddenly pointed, grinning. "_There_ it is!" He said, pointing to where the car was parked, in full view.

--

Stumbling out of the eighth bar, Shuichi and Tatsuha were clad only in their boxer shorts, and were handcuffed together. Shuichi had somehow acquired a traffic cone atop his pink head, and Tatsuha was wearing one of Tohma's pimp hats that had been in his car.

They stumbled over to Tohma's car, and faced a problem. If they were handcuffed, how were they going to get into separate sides of the car?

/ **End Flashback** /

"And that's all I remember." Shuichi concluded.

Suddenly, they became aware of a noise. A horrific, snuffling, snorting sound. A sound so repulsive, that they would rather cut off their own ears than listen to it. It was coming from one of the bushes. Suddenly, after a particularly loud snort, the noise stopped. They continued to stare at the bush.

"AAAAAAAAGH!" Yelled Tatsuha, jumping out of the very same bush. "HOW DID I GET HERE? WHERE AM I?" He lifted his wrist. "WHERE THE HELL DID I LEAVE SHUICHI!"

Shuichi twitched. "SHUT UP, TATSUHA! God damn you! My head hurts, and you're not exactly making me feel better!"

Tatsuha looked at him for a second, a blank expression on his face. Suddenly, both drunkards began to laugh loudly. Tatsuha stumbled out of the bush, just noticing that he still wore Tohma's spare pimp hat. That made him laugh even louder.

He then noticed Tohma and Yuki. And laughed even harder. In the end, he was sprawled on his stomach on the ground, laughing, and showing no signs of stopping any time soon.

In the end, Yuki scowled, walking over to his brother. He ungraciously sat on his brother's spine, his brother let out a loud yell.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET OFF ME, YOU FAT BASTARD!"

Yuki sniffled, and then wailed loudly. "SHU-CHAAAAAAAAAAN!"

Shuichi twitched, turned, and ran the fuck away. The three watched as a blur of pink hair, and pink boxers, disappeared down the street.

Tohma's eyes narrowed, and he - quite suddenly - took off like a speeding bullet. He sprinted after Shuichi as fast as he little legs could go, his pimp hat flying off of his head as he tackled the ball of fluff to the ground.

"You are _not_ going anywhere! There's no way I'm looking after that bundle of mood swings on my own!"

**THWACK**

Also quite suddenly, Tohma was walking back towards them, pimp hat once again on his head. Slung inelegantly over his shoulder, was Shuichi. As the brothers stared, he smiled innocently.

"What? I didn't do anything…"

* * *

Kei-chan: Thanks for reading, hope you liked.

Rin-chan: Please review to let us know what you think. See you all soon.


	8. Chapter 8

Kei-chan: Thanks to everyone who read the last chapter, and we hope you enjoy this one.

Rin-chan: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, this chapter is dedicated to you guys.

* * *

**Chapter Eight - Decorating, Compromising, and More Mood Swings**

_One month later_

"Yuki! Get up, damn it! I've gotta decorate this… charming little study of yours for the baby!" Shuichi tugged at Yuki from where he sat on his computer chair, in front of his laptop. He kept trying to haul the blonde off of his perch, but now Yuki was eight months along, it was rather useless.

They looked to the doorway as they heard snickering. Tatsuha smirked. "How about I call Tohma? I'll ask if he has access to a forklift."

Suddenly, Yuki was out of his chair. He waddled ominously towards his brother, stopping when there was only inches between them. Somehow Yuki's glare was even more effective with a stomach the size of a small country. "Unless you want me to sit on you again, you'd better shut the fuck up!"

Tatsuha cowered. Shuichi huffed, before shooing Yuki out of the study. "Just leave it to us! We'll have this place perfect for the baby in no time at all!"

"Somehow I doubt that…" Yuki muttered, turning to waddle to the couch. "I wish I had a beer and a cigarette."

Shuichi's pink head poked out of the study, a scowl on his face. "You even think about drinking or smoking, and I swear I will call Tohma and tell him you're endangering our baby."

Yuki twitched, dropping onto the couch heavily.

--

Some time later, Shuichi and Tatsuha emerged from what used to be Yuki's study. He stared at them, raising an eyebrow. They were both covered in multi-coloured paint splatters and, strangely, glitter. They rushed over to Yuki, grinning like loons.

"Yuki! Come and take a look! It's so cool, I think you'll love it!" Shuichi squealed. The two grabbed Yuki, trying to remove him from the couch. They tugged, and pulled, and swore. Tatsuha growled. "This is doing my back no good."

Finally, they managed to get Yuki on his feet. He, reluctantly, waddled over to the room, stepping in.

His eyes widened, and he stared dumbly at the room. There was nothing to suggest that it had once been his study. The walls were painted the seven colours of the rainbow, and random patches of glitter were stuck to them. All of the furniture was painted with the separate rainbow colours. Yuki stared at it all in horror.

The blonde suddenly turned to Shuichi, glaring. "What the hell are you trying to do to our kid? Turn it into a freak like you?" Shuichi's smile disappeared, and tears filled his eyes. He sniffled, and Yuki's scowl dropped from his face. He was about to begin one of his emotional rollercoaster rides, when he suddenly put a hand to his stomach. "Ow! Fuck, that hurt!"

Shuichi was at his side in an instant. "Yuki! What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Yuki let out a little whimper. "It hurts… I think the baby's coming!"

Shuichi wibbled. "AAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed, running around in circles like a headless chicken. Tatsuha rolled his eyes, and grabbed his brother by the arm. As he led Yuki out of the apartment, he could hear Shuichi wailing. "Wait for meeee!"

--

Tohma hummed happily as he drove to meet Mika for lunch. He was driving down some random street, when he noticed something that belonged to him… and it was parked right in front of him. He stopped the car, and got out. He stared.

There, in front of him, was the car Shuichi had stolen from him, and it certainly showed evidence of his little 'drunken escapade'. The paintwork was almost completely covered by graffiti, and streamers hung off of random places. It also seemed that every bird in Tokyo decided to crap all over it.

He cocked his head to the side, speechless. Just then, a dog trotted over to the car, sniffed the wheel, and lifted it's leg. Tohma's eye twitched as the ugly old dog pissed on his car. The dog walked away, apparently satisfied that he'd defiled the car that belonged to the most feared man in Tokyo.

Tohma stormed over to the car, and yanked open the door. He poked his head inside, and wrinkled his nose as a horrific stench assaulted him. It didn't take much brain power to work out that the stench was emanating from the hobo currently using the back seat of _his_ car as a bed.

He got into his newest car, and flipped open his cell phone. After calmly instructing someone to kick out the hobo and get rid of the mess that used to be his car, an enraged expression appeared on his face. "Damn you, Shindou."

He sped to Yuki's apartment, cursing Shuichi all the way. A very short while later, he managed to kick the door down, even though he was so vertically challenged. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, SHUICHI!" He shouted to the empty apartment.

Tohma looked around. "Well, shit."

--

Meanwhile, Yuki, Shuichi, and Tatsuha had arrived at the hospital. The two younger men had rushed him to Doctor Yuy, only to be told that Yuki had just experienced false labour pains. Yuki stared for a moment, before quietly asking if it would happen again.

In the end, Shuichi and Tatsuha had to restrain the blonde to stop him from killing the poor doctor.

A short while later, they walked out of the hospital. Yuki had calmed considerably, but was certainly _not_ happy that he would have to suffer this injustice. They managed to get back to Yuki's apartment without any disasters.

They stared as they approached the door to the apartment. The door was smashed to pieces, and only one chunk remained, hanging to the doorframe only by a hinge. They cautiously walked - or waddled - into the apartment, only to see-

"Shindou, you fucker, prepare to die!" Tohma stormed towards Shuichi, but bounced off of Yuki's stomach as the blonde stood in front of his lover. Yuki folded his arms, higher than usual because his arms wouldn't fit around his stomach.

Tatsuha stared. "Damn… you're the size of Godzilla!"

He trembled in fear as Shuichi and Tohma sent him looks of pure death. Yuki was about to burst into tears, again, but was interrupted by Shuichi who had suddenly sent an evil look towards Tohma.

"You better pay for that door, you son of a bitch! If anything happens to my darling Yuki because of a broken _door_, of all things, I will personally chop off your jewels! And one more thing! You better stop him from working once our child is born! It's not fair, and I won't stand for it! Besides, with him writing _and_ raising our child, he'd probably work himself to death! His ulcer would give him trouble, his health would certainly suffer in more ways than one, he'd probably end up coughing blood _again_, and I'd end up KILLING MYSELF!"

Shuichi stormed into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Hysterical sobs could be heard emanating from behind the door. Yuki glared at Tohma. "Get. The fucking door. Fixed." He growled. Tohma gulped, quickly pulling out his trusty cell phone. Yuki then sent his famous 'Look Of Death' at his brother, who cowered. "You! Get the fuck out of my apartment!"

Tatsuha hastily made his exit, and Yuki wished he had a door so that he could slam it behind the pervert. His job done, he quickly waddled to the bedroom, once again shutting the door behind him.

Shuichi was curled up on the bed, sniffling. Yuki lowered himself onto the bed, holding out his arms so Shuichi could burrow into him. He let Shuichi cry all over him, which made his mood drop, and he inevitably began to cry, too.

A while later, they had both ceased crying, but didn't move. Finally Yuki sighed, shifting slightly. "Alright… you win. I'll stop writing until our little brat is old enough for day care. After that I'll write part time, and you can sing part time, and when the kid starts school, we can both go back to business as usual… okay?"

Shuichi smiled, kissing him softly. "Thank you." He whispered, his eyes closing.

--

_Three weeks, six days, and twenty-three hours later._

Shuichi was going insane.

The last three weeks had been nothing but mood swings, false labour incidents, and damage control. Of course, damage control meant trying to 'control' Yuki's mood swings so he didn't cause any damage to his brother. The young monk had been hovering around, always with a bitchy comment ready, and it didn't do Yuki's hormones any good.

Which also meant it didn't do Shuichi any good. He hadn't been able to get enough sleep, he hadn't been eating properly, and he was just about ready to hit Yuki over the head with a frying pan. The fluff ball was showing signs of strain, a fact that annoyed him more than anything. He had bags under his eyes, his skin was pale and pasty, and he looked like he'd aged a few decades… badly.

It was mostly the humongous mood swings, and especially the false labour scares. He shuddered just remembering some of them.

/ Flashback /

Yuki windmilled his arms furiously, trying to get up from the couch to kill his brother. Tatsuha, being the bastard he is, pointed and laughed.

Shuichi walked into the apartment, shopping bags in hand, and closed the door behind him. He stared at Yuki for a moment, before glaring suspiciously at Tatsuha. "What did you do?"

Tatsuha tried, and failed, to look innocent. "Me? I only said that he should stop eating before he ended up being so big that his ass slipped off of the couch."

Shuichi's eyes narrowed, and he put down his shopping.

"AAAH!" Tatsuha hit the floor outside of the apartment with a yell.

Shuichi slammed the door, grumbling in disgust. He noticed Yuki was still making his furious attempt to get up, sighed, and took his shopping into the kitchen. He figured he'd wait until Yuki calmed down, and _then_ help him up.

--

Shuichi was suddenly jolted awake in the early hours of the morning by Yuki, who was groaning in pain again. He sighed, getting up and dressing quickly. In a short space of time, they were entering the hospital and calling for Doctor Yuy.

The doctor checked Yuki and sighed, shaking his head. "Not this time either, I'm afraid."

Yuki scowled, and Shuichi beat his head against the nearby wall. This was the _third_ time, and he was going nuts. They slowly made their way back to the apartment, and collapsed back into their bed. Shuichi stared at the ceiling for a long moment.

"Yuki…"

"Hn?"

"You suck."

/End Flashback /

* * *

Kei-chan: Thanks for reading. Please review, and tell us what you think.

Rin-chan: Sorry this chapter took so long, we will make sure the next will be up soon. To all 'Role Reversal' fans, we are now working on the next one. Hopefully we will have the first chapter up soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Rin-chan: Konnichiwa, minna-san! This is our last chapter for 'Nine Month Torture', hope you enjoy!

Kei-chan: By the way, we don't own the song in this chapter! 'Ai no Imi wo Oshiete!' belongs to the Hello! Project group, W.

* * *

**Chapter Nine - Who's The Daddy?**

Four days later, Yuki was in his ninth month, and Shuichi was losing the will to live. Yuki's mood swings were as explosive as ever, and Shuichi was beginning to think the pregnancy would never end. The fluff ball was currently unconscious on the couch. Yuki was rummaging around the kitchen, searching for pocky, and pouting when he found they didn't have any. Suddenly, he froze. He felt something wet run down his legs, and cringed. 'I do not believe this… This stupid pregnancy has messed with my head, messed with my emotions, and now… now, it's made me piss myself. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW! This-'

His hand flew to his stomach as a wave of pain hit him. This was worse than all the other times… He looked down, and saw he was standing in a puddle. 'Oh… I didn't pee myself. That was only my FUCKING WATER BREAKING!'

"SHUICHIIIIIIIII!"

Shuichi woke with a jump, falling off of the couch and landing on his face with a THUMP. "WAA! What's wrong? Who died? WHERE AM I!" He spazzed from his position on the floor.

"GET YOUR FREAKY ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" Yuki yelled.

Shuichi scrambled up from the floor, charging into the kitchen and nearly slipping on Yuki's little accident. He looked down, and scrunched his nose.

"Yuki… please tell me you didn't piss yourself? I love you, but that's just nasty… I'm so not cleaning that up."

Yuki slapped the back of his head. "MORON! In case it escaped your notice - which wouldn't surprise me, since you have such a small brain - I'm in labour here! As you can see, my water just broke, which means the baby is coming, for real this time. In other words, GET ME TO THE DAMN HOSPITAL!"

Shuichi shrieked, running for the car keys. As they made their way out of the apartment, Shuichi grabbed the overnight bag that Yuki had packed just two months into his pregnancy.

--

As Yuki was about to be sedated, he grabbed Shuichi by his throat. "You better stay with me whilst they cut this brat out of me, or I'll cut your balls off!"

Shuichi paled, and resigned himself to a meeting with the floor.

Some time later

As Yuki regained consciousness, he noticed that Shuichi was definitely not by his side. His face darkened like a thundercloud, and he was about to begin ranting, when a nurse pointed to the floor. He looked down, and saw Shuichi passed out on the floor. He rolled his eyes. 'I should have known…'

The nurse stepped over Shuichi, holding out a bundle of blankets. Yuki slowly reached out his arms. The nurse smiled, and placed the bundle in his arms. "Congratulations, he looks just like you. I called your brother-in-law, and he's on his way."

Yuki looked down, into the sleeping face of his son… and smiled. There was a groan from the general direction of the floor, and a pink head appeared over the side of the bed. A smile crossed his face as he saw Yuki holding their son. He carefully sat on the edge of the bed, and reached out to gently brush a finger over the child's face.

The baby's eyes slowly opened, and he stared at his parents in wonder. His purple eyes were impossibly wide, and seemed to be glued to the two strangers. Shuichi stopped breathing for a second, before a huge smile came to his face. "Hey, little one… I'm your otousan-"

"No, I'm his otousan." Said Yuki, glaring at him. "You're his okaasan, you girly little punk."

Shuichi smirked at him. "Is that so? Well you're the one who gave birth to him…"

Yuki twitched, opening his mouth to yell. Before he could begin his tirade, Shuichi interrupted him. "We should name him. I was thinking that, since this kind of thing is unheard of, we should call him something special. So… how about Kiseki?"

Yuki raised an eyebrow at him. "You came up with that? Hn. I thought you would have come up with something like Shoubi."

Shuichi scowled. "I'm not a complete idiot, thank you."

Yuki snorted, amused. "You could've fooled me."

They looked down as little Kiseki shifted, yawning widely. Shuichi held out his arms, and gently held Kiseki, offering his little finger to the child. A little chubby hand wrapped around his finger, and their son offered them a gummy grin.

Suddenly, a blur raced through the doors, stopping before Shuichi, and a loud squeal was heard. "Ooooh! Shu-chan, he's so cute!" Ryuichi bounced up and down.

Following at a slightly slower pace, but not by much, came Tohma, Hiro, Fujisaki, Mika, K, Sakano, and Tatsuha.

Everyone congratulated the two, and cooed over little Kiseki, before a smirk crossed Tatsuha's face. "So, are you going to breast feed him, Eiri?"

**CLANG**

Tatsuha was knocked unconscious when Yuki threw a bedpan at his face. Yuki smirked in satisfaction, and Shuichi rolled his eyes. Tohma pushed everyone out of the way, and stared. Shuichi saw the wonder in his eyes, and smiled. "Tohma, meet your yuushi, Kiseki. Kiseki-chan, meet your ojisan, Tohma." He said, as he gently handed Tohma his nephew.

Tohma stared into Kiseki's purple eyes, and a genuine smile crossed his face. His eyes didn't close, or seem cold, and he didn't look calculating. His eyes softened, and his face lit up. Suddenly, he no longer looked like the most feared man in Tokyo… he looked like a loving uncle.

Kiseki let out a giggle as the fur collar on Tohma's coat tickled his face, and everyone in the room saw Tohma melt. It was then that Tohma knew he would do anything for this child, no matter the cost.

It took a while for Tohma to pull himself away, but once he managed it, he handed the child to Ryuichi, who was pestering him. Ryuichi stopped bouncing immediately, and carefully held the baby in his arms. He smiled when Kiseki grabbed a fistful of his soft sweater.

Everyone took their turn in holding the newest addition to the circus. Whenever Mika tried to take her turn, someone rushed to get there before her. Once they had all held him, she went to take her turn, when Tatsuha - who had only just woke up - pushed her out of the way. She glared at him as he held Kiseki, muttering angrily.

When he had finished, she was about to finally hold him, when the nurse came into the room. "Okay, our proud parents should have some alone time, and get some rest. All of you, out now!" Mika fumed as she was impatiently ushered from the room, and stomped away, completely ignoring them all.

--

Shuichi gently placed Kiseki in the crib beside Yuki's bed, and found himself pulled into Yuki's arms. They both sat, watching over their little miracle. Shuichi sighed happily. "I can't believe he's finally here… Thank kami-sama you're not going to be so emo now." He heard a sniffle, and froze.

He sighed, before turning to wrap his arms around Yuki. The blonde hiccupped. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Shuichi stroked his hair. "You just gave birth to our son, who you've been carrying for nine months. It's natural… I think."

They both looked back over to their son. Shuichi grinned. "It's going to be so cool watching him grow up."

* * *

**Sixteen years later.**

Shuichi and Yuki were sat on the couch when Yuki's ears were assaulted with the song. It was the song that had made his life hell for the past week. The music floated from his son's room, and Shuichi cackled as he cringed.

'_Attaka muudo _

_Ukiuki _

_Deeto biyori no _

_Bi bi V'_

Yuki began to twitch, and Shuichi sat back to watch the show, amused.

'_Sawayaka gogo no _

_Happii happii _

_Earobikusu de sheipu appu'_

Shuichi waited smugly for the explosion, knowing Yuki wouldn't be able to take much more of it.

'_Nee ai no imi wo oshiete yo (oshiete yo) _

_Doubutsu nani ga suki desu ka? _

_Takoyaki nani wo kakemasu ka?'_

Yuki was practically convulsing as he struggled not to yell, but the song was eating away at his composure. There would be hell to pay…

'_Egao taemanai _

_Mou mainichi zutto zutto zutto _

_Sou anata ga shiawase kanjite iru nara _

_Kono koi mo ano fushigi na dekigoto mo _

_Mina anata no suteki na jijitsu nan desu yo _

_Kokorozuyoi hodo _

_Ai ga michi afureru'_

Before Yuki could flip his lid, the doorbell sounded. Yuki got up, opening the door to reveal Shibui, Kiseki's boyfriend. The music stopped, and they heard Kiseki bouncing down the hallway. "Shibui!" He launched himself at the silent teen.

Shibui rolled his eyes. He raised an amused eyebrow at Kiseki's rainbow belt, and his jacket -complete with fur collar - from Tohma.

As if summoned, Tohma appeared at the door. He smiled hugely, and held open his arms just in time. Kiseki crashed into him with a squeal. "Tohma-ojisan!"

Tohma hugged him tightly, not missing the happiness in his nephew's eyes. Shibui lit a cigarette, careful not to burn any holes in his immaculate white shirt, or his new dress pants. He glanced at his watch.

"C'mon brat, we're going to be late."

Kiseki grinned. "Okay!" He ran around, hugging them all, before latching onto his boyfriend's arm. "Let's go!"

They listened to Shubui's reply as the two left. "Damn it, you're always so noisy!"

Yuki shut the door, leaning against it. The three men looked at each other in horror. "Oh no…"

Yuki ran a hand through his hair, a disbelieving expression on his face. "How the hell did I give birth to that?"

**END**

--

Rin-chan: Okay, thanks to everyone who's followed this story and reviewed! We're still working on the sequel to 'Role Reversal', and we'll hopefully have the first chapter up soon.

Kei-chan: Again, thanks for reading! We hope you enjoyed reading this as much as we enjoyed writing it! Sayonara!


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